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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in ebaumsucks' LiveJournal:

Saturday, January 14th, 2006
1:20 pm
Eric you'd be so much cooler if you were Eric Mathews
That's all I can think about when I think of you. We'll never be in love because of it; with every touch I will recoil, knowing that I could have had it so much better with that long-haired wunderkind. This isn't to say we can't have something special. I just can't go into our relationship with this sort of thing between us.

The title of this journal is misleading. Thousands of goons will read it and assume that I hate ebaum, and that I am using the word suck metaphorically. Not true! It is meant in the strictest, most literal sense. This journal exists as a testament to Eric Bauman's terrific oral skills.

The only thing that could blow my mind more would be him no longer stealing content. His argument that the content is user-submitted isn't a bad one, in all honesty. Submission is an extremely efficient way to run a site. It's also very difficult to judge whether or not you're recieving original work. This is not, however, justification to ignore requests that you remove the content.

Your most obvious solution is to request identity verification (a scan of a state ID, something like that) on every submission, and post the name and town of the individual that did the submitting. If someone stole it to give to you, they'll get what they deserve, and you won't have to shut down your whole site.

Compromise!
5:09 am
ebaum : Hello
ALTF4: Hello eBaum
ebaum : How are you?
ALTF4: Not too bad actually, I've been having a fairly sweel time today.
ALTF4: *swell
ebaum : Fridays sure are nice aren't they?
ebaum : Anyway, are you available to chat for a bit?
ALTF4: Yes, we get away from our excellent paying jobs which invlove no illegal activity whatsoever
ALTF4: I am free to chat
ebaum : Where are you from?
ALTF4: Canada
ALTF4: Vancouver, specifically
ebaum : Cool, Im heading to Canada in a few hours.
ebaum : Anyway, My buddy azuretek gave me your contact
ALTF4: Yes, I've been talking to him recently a bit
ebaum : You operate and control the domain ebaumsworldscucks.com correct?
ALTF4: Yes
ALTF4: Made the flash cartoon, figured the best way to spread the word was through an easy-to-remember domain name
ebaum : Wow you made it too?
ebaum : The entire flash is actually very well done.
ALTF4: I did the animation, and I was the one who first contacted Neil
ALTF4: thank you
ebaum : Did you do the music for it too?
ALTF4: Neil did, and he did an excellent job
ebaum : Wait, I thought you were neil... ?
ALTF4: I came up with the concept and messaged him
ALTF4: 2 Neils, hah
ebaum : Really?
ALTF4: Neil Ciceraga and neil conroy
ALTF4: I'm the latter
ebaum : hehe cool
ebaum : Well let me get to the point.
ebaum : What do I need to do to get the animation removed?
ALTF4: I can't see that happening.
ebaum : Why not?
ALTF4: because I spent a lot of time on it, and It can't exactly spread the word if it is not for viewing
ALTF4: I don't think there is anything you can do to get me to remove this animation from the internet
ebaum : I'm not asking you to remove the animation from the Internet.
ebaum : And obviously there is no way for me to make you remove it.
ALTF4: Then what are you askin' brah?
ebaum : I am asking you to stop hosting it on the domain that you are hosting it on.
ALTF4: Why?
ALTF4: Here, I'll make you a deal
ebaum : And not to mention. There may be a small % of your animation that may be true. We try our hardest to give credit where it is due. You are giving us a bad name.
ALTF4: you delete everything on your site, and work from the bottom up with all new, all original content, and I will forward the domain to your website.
ebaum : It is very easy for us to put a link up giving credit to the original author. You will find it all over our site.
ALTF4: Oh cry me a river.
ALTF4: You've only started credit since I called you out on it
ebaum : Prove otherwise
ALTF4: Prove what otherwise?
ebaum : That I don't give credit to original authors.
ebaum : I would love to know so I can clear my name.
ALTF4: We both know that your buisness model is based around thievery
ebaum : That comment has no merit.
ALTF4: Your website has no merit.
ebaum : Please give me some examples.
ALTF4: I don't need to prove to you that you are a scam artist.
ALTF4: Is this your plan? "I
ebaum : Surely if I am such a scam artist you could give me some proof and back up your statements. Wouldn't you think?
ALTF4: How about those flashes from weebl-stuff that you posted and he always talks about?
ALTF4: http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com/ebw.html
ALTF4: how about that?
ebaum : Hold on 1 second please.
ALTF4: oh yeah you link to his site with a little text link now huh?
ALTF4: Ever since my flash popped up suddenly eBaum is some just misunderstood guy trying to make a living
ebaum : I give him credit on all his work we feature.
ALTF4: Yeah, but he doesn't want his work on your website
ebaum : In fact, me and weebl have spoken about working on a project together.
ALTF4: What would you do? There is no stealing involved in making a flash, not that you would know.
ebaum : I would be more than happy to remove his work from our website if he does in fact want his work removed. Why wouldn't I?
ebaum : I will send him an email right now expressing some of your concerns.
ALTF4: He posted within the last few days on his forum on how much of a jerk you are
ALTF4: I can dig that up for you
ebaum : What else do you have for me?
ALTF4: also, since I am speaking on behalf of somethingawful here, and all of the internet that is good, "Comrade Flynn" wants his flash (peanut butter jelly time) removed and his dancing banana (that is trademarked) removed from your header bar.
ebaum : I will investigate this immediatly.
ebaum : Anything else Neil?
ALTF4: What are you going to do If I don't take down my website?
ebaum : I can't stop you from showing your work. This is why I am taking the time now to talk with you.
ebaum : So what other acts of theivery have I commited?
ALTF4: Have you even been to ebaumsworld.com?
ebaum : Yes obviously.
ALTF4: Well than surely you realise that there is no way that the things on your website were all sent to you by their original authors, otherwise there wouldn't be a flash animation or a public outcry.
ALTF4: You must realise, being a smart man, that things like this don't start for no reason.
ebaum : People love having their work on a top500 site that gets over 1 million unique viewers a day. Its incredible exposure for authors.
ebaum : So who else have we stolen content from?
ALTF4: So I guess everyone just hates you because of one big crazy misunderstanding eh?
ebaum : Correct. That is why I am talking to you.
ALTF4: Alright here is a step by step process finding out whom you have stolen from
ALTF4: copy and paste the title of the flash into google
ALTF4: push search
ALTF4: RESULTS
ebaum : And what is your point? That I will find the sames works on 1000 other websiteS?
ALTF4: Are you about to use the same futile arguement your stupid fanboys have been using for the last month against me?
ALTF4: I'm not the only one who steals!!!!!
ALTF4: So it is alright then!!!
ebaum : I am going to look into all of the content you mentioned above. And if you are correct with the authors not wanting the material up on the site it will be removed immediatly.
ALTF4: Well thank goodness!
ebaum : And if these authors really don't want their content shown why don't they contact me? It seems like you are just stirring up trouble for no reason.
ebaum : I am very reachable.
ALTF4: Did your dad help you type that?

Tell him I still have my Yiddish cup.
ALTF4: .....LOL
ebaum : Can't answer that last question can you Neil?
ebaum : I will ask again, maybe you missed it.
ebaum : And if these authors really don't want their content shown why don't they contact me? It seems like you are just stirring up trouble for no reason.
ALTF4: Actually they do.
ALTF4: They either A) do and dont get a reply
ALTF4: or B) Figure it's futile because of all of these stories of the past, and figure it's not worth their time.
ALTF4: That group X animation is still up last time I checked
ALTF4: I figure you would have gotten around to that by now
ALTF4: And maybe that rainbow flash game
ebaum : I'd love to know where you get all this from...
ALTF4: the one that was made for pbskids.org
ebaum : Oh do you represent pbskids.org too?
ebaum : Cool!
ALTF4: I'd love to know where you get this strange impression that what you are doing isn't wrong.
ebaum : Well you have listed 4 peices of content so far.
ALTF4: Oh, that group X animation has been removed
ALTF4: Well golly you really have changed your ways!
ALTF4: I guess I'll just take that website down now!
ebaum : I really appreciate it.
ALTF4: No prob buddy!
ebaum : And if you have any other contents you want removed. Please let me know. Serously.
ebaum : Were there any more you know off hand?
ebaum : I'd like to take care of this tonight.
ALTF4: I like where this is going eBaum
ALTF4: do you want me to compile a list?
ebaum : I have a ton of content and have been running the site for many years. If you don't mind helping me sift through it... it would be awesome.
ebaum : It is Friday night and im guessing you probably do have a life.
ALTF4: Not tonight eBaum my man.
ebaum : Maybe it would be easier to chat on the phone?
ebaum : Why don;t you take down my #?
ALTF4: I might not be able to phone you for a while, this is much easier for me as I have a cold.
ALTF4: I would be interesting in working out an actual agreement though.
ebaum : Sure.
ebaum : Lets work together.
ebaum : Do you have any other flash work that you did?
ebaum : I
ALTF4: Even if you remove all stolen content, you have thousands of dollars that should be distributed to the flash artists you have stolen.
ebaum : I would like to check it out.
ALTF4: And if you want a comprehensive list of stolen flash content, look at your own legal section.
ALTF4: Of course, it isn't a complete list
ALTF4: but it is a start.
ebaum : Do you have any other flash work?
ALTF4: www.ultimateshowdown.org has my newest, why?
ALTF4: well it is my newest
ebaum : Ahh I saw this.
ebaum : Thanks for the cameo!
ebaum : How long have you been working on flash?
ALTF4: 7 months
ebaum : Well I feel like we accomplished a lot.
ebaum : I am glad we talked.
ebaum : I would appreciate it if you kept this conversation private and didn't post it anywhere.
ALTF4: If someone wants their flash removed, where should they e-mail to?
ebaum : ebaum@ebaumsworld.com
ebaum : Ever since you posted the ebaum sucks animation we had a few original authors wanting their content removed.
ebaum : We worked out a deal and put up a link back to their site and they are cool with us hosting their work.
ALTF4: The flash and website stay up though.
ebaum : Not if they want it removed.
ALTF4: My website and flash I mean.
ALTF4: If you want me to take that site down, you're going to have to make a lot of changes.
ebaum : ???
ebaum : I thought we had a deal neil?
ALTF4: The deal being you would start obeying the law a little and I would suddenly delete my website? I don't remember saying that.
ALTF4: I want royalty checks to authors. I want a public apology. I don't want you to get to the point where someone is e-mailing you to get things removed, I want you to have certified permission BEFORE you post the flash. I want credit where it is due on every flash. I want no more spyware downloads. I want mgunit to lose his mod status on your forum, and I don't ever want to see the balls of any of your users ever again!
ebaum : Royalty checks eh
ALTF4: Yup, I think that is appropriate
ebaum : Okay!
ebaum : Can I also submit some hosting bills to them as well?
ALTF4: you don't bring to users to people's sites, you steal users from them.
ALTF4: Oh nice one eBaum! Everyone knows you are a multimillionaire and any hosting bills you might get are insignificant to your huge daily income.
ebaum : And exactly what spyware downloads are you speaking of?
ebaum : This one I GOTTA HEAR!
ALTF4: You know, when you go to ebaumsworld.com... and spyware downloads on you computer... those ones.
ebaum : Riiight.
ebaum : Now you are just making stuff up to make me look bad. You and I both know I don't run spyware.
ebaum : Anyway, compile a list of material you think I should remove. I will do all I can to make everyone happy.
ALTF4: Well actually I got a spyware popup from your site when I visited there, although that was a while ago.
ALTF4: What was that you said to Azurtek about owning the domain in 72 hours?
ebaum : I could if I wanted to. I decided against it and wanted to talk to you and settle this amicably.
ALTF4: If you can find a legal reason to shut down my website, I will conform to it. Otherwise, ebaumsworldsucks.com is here to stay.
ALTF4: Or if you give me a million dollars
ebaum : Ok. We will be in touch. Once again, I would appreciate if you kept this conversation private and didn't post it anywhere.
ALTF4: Oh, also I have 3 little questions
ebaum : Sure.
ALTF4: #1 Do you think your website is wrong in any way?
ALTF4: #2 Did you post a review on newgrounds about my flash?
ebaum : Very well possible. I'm not perfect.
ebaum : No I have not.
ALTF4: #3 How much money do you make daily on average, in all honesty.
ALTF4: And in 1 I mean MORALLY wrong.
ebaum : I don't handle our finances so I can't accurately answer you.
ALTF4: How much would you estimate
ebaum : Morally wrong? I don't think so. We are an entertainment site. Some of our material will be offensive to someone.
ALTF4: Oh, eBaum you delightlful question-dodger!
ebaum : ?
ALTF4: I asked you 3 questions and the only one you answered was the second, which was just so I would be able to get the faggots on newgrounds to shut the fuck up.
ALTF4: As for #1, we both know I mean about the stealing. No-one is that woefully ignorant.
ebaum : The flash animation only makes up a very small part of our website.
ALTF4: Well all of your images and video is stolen too!
ebaum : I must go now. We will be in touch.
ALTF4: Also, the malicious code on your frontpage, what is the story on that!?
ALTF4: eBaum, I hope you like coming off as a douchebag on your high horse who does nothing but dodge questions and feign ignorance.
4:45 am
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